I have been here many times before

It's funny how you will keep going back to something, even if it hurts.

Every time it stings, and every time you think it will get better. That this is the last time, next time it'll be different, it won't hurt. Because you did something wrong and that's why it's happening. You'll fix it. But the truth is, it was never your fault. You never were the problem, it wasn't because of you. Thinking that it was suppose to hurt like this was the only mistake you ever made because it shouldn't, no matter what. 

Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save

"Maa: Jealousy, 

                       the lust for entertainment"

 - ancient buddha definition

I know something is broken, and I'm trying to fix it

There was always a difference between us

we blamed everyone, but ourselves.

All the fights

All the differences

everything lost in translation.

It's time we look at what we're made of.

She will be loved

Girl, you were so small

                         a little obsessive, smiling, had no fear.

                                   But sometimes, you would fall.

                But you grew up.

You learned lessons about life and love,

you changed your clothes,

you changed your friends,

you went through some hard times,

                                 and sometimes you would fall.

But you'd stick to your word.

Cause thats all we knew.

Life will always be complicated

but you'll make it through

you'll find those few you trust

and see them through.

And sometimes you will fall

but I'll be right there to help you up.

Love will never be easy

but, It's never suppose to be.

So hold on tight

don't look below                 

keep your eyes wide open

and Never let go.         

Can I hold you one last time

Side poem, 

 you are my friend

You give me an excuse 

                 not to give it an end.          

You cant always hear a cry out for help.

The lonely,

 are such delicate things.

The wind from a wasp could blow them,

Into the sea,

With stones on their feet

lost to the light and the loving we need.

Still  to come,

the worst part and you know it.

There is a numbness

In your heart

               

    and it's growing.

Is this fooling anyone else?

I wonder why i cannot tell you

about this little thing.

We're so open and love each other

but this...

it's just to big for me.

I'm afraid for you to hear the truth.

I don't write to get revenge.

I don't write because I'm angry all the time.

I write to express myself

I write to let it go

I write to put words to my crazy thoughts.

Still, I write poems in the dark

or when your gone, away

I'm scared that when you read them

you'll some how think of me different.

Not your perfect little daughter

but a human, with flaws.

So maybe tomorrow I'll ask you if you want to read

and risk it all.

Or maybe, I'll wait a week

a month or two.

When your ready.

This poem was written 3 weeks ago.

On rocks I dreamt of where we'd stepped

Joke, smoke, choke, croak.

Sky, high, fly, die.

Trust, bust, rust

bite the dust.

A,B,C,D,E,F and G

12:52 am I'm suppose to be asleep

instead I write

by the light of my trusty Ipod.

scribble, scribble, scribble

tomorrow is back to school

so bring back all those rules 

the homework, and the subs.

Another year has come and gone

but it's getting late,

So i hope i get some sleep

and remember my last day of  freedom

cause the next 10 months

wont be a treat.

Words all Burn the same

Newspapers,

                  word after word,

                                          line after line,

                                                      a piece of the world

                                                              frozen in time.

bring us together, rip us apart

altering what you see for a day

or for a life.

And all they are 

are little letters

written in ink.

One word can make all the difference.

We'll all float On

Dancing in the sky

forever happy, careless, and bright.

It's what I want to be.

When it's done that noise echos in your ears

It's all over.

But that's it... just one pop.

and they're done.

No mess,

just one hit.

My new goal in life is to be a balloon.

My stomach

is turning.

My mind

is spinning.

My eyes

are blurring.

My voice

is weakening.

Because you

are leaving.